lets us first start with how the movie outing went out. can't believe it but sometimes i just feel that my band mates are not my true friends except for Remee.The only guy to actually stick around when ever times are down for me and it just feels that he is the only holmes i have in the band. the movie was simply awesome.something which i wanna watch again but with someone else. Megan Fox is the hottest thing on earth and Shia LaBeouf is one hell of a cute ass mother fucker.No i am not gay if you guys are wondering.Actually,that dude has been seriously been one hell of an idol for me really when it comes to how he brings about himself in his movies.Simply classic. So me and remee watched the movie together without the others and yet it was all great.got to meet up some of the +65 kids before the movie started so pretty much that was how the day went.
a lot of things have been running through my mind right now. i didn't know i can actually miss someone that bad.believe me this is the first time something like this is actually happening to me.maybe there is a start for everything?just maybe,the real answer is still not derived.this is all so wrong.i can't possible have feelings for someone who is already attached but then again the odds of it happening are really high and when that happens,it means a whole lot of big things.masked by this thing called 'friends',i just hold on to whatever there is left for me to grab on.for now,she is the only thing that really caught me off guard.the only one who can really turn my tides around and the only one who can really stir butterflies in my bloated tummy. oh well,who am i kidding..she probably don't even remember me when she is somewhere else across the borders.for now,i'll just let myself fall apart and keep myself a place for her to come by anytime she wants. yes,i'll always be there if you need me to.always there to make a smile upon your face and ensuring things go right for ya.
maybe i am in trouble,maybe i don't. who ever says guys don't have insecurities.
i am so gonna catch this movie.it has been 2 days since it launched here in singapore. oh well i may be slow but yeah i don't think this movie will die out fast like any other movies.cause it is THE transformers two.haha.sequel to the first one. ian has asked if the whole band can watch it together or something.that is good cause finally the band will be having an outing and enjoy. hopefully it will be a success or something cause things are shaky right now.hopefully an outing like this will help settle indifference and just allow room for trust and friendship in this band.something that has been lacking since day one itself.
oh yeah i am officially unemployed again.fought with my fcking manager and things got really messy. i am still not going to admit its my fault cause i didn't do anything wrong to begin with. i just don't understand people who are like fcking egoistic with the power they have.chill,you guys are humans too just like us.
lastly, yeah i did give away some hints. guess i am just being stupid? i don't have a clue myself. i am just being pulled in some quicksand where things are looking no where good. maybe u didn't expect it from me but i have to admit that my feelings grew no matter how much i tried to control it.it is something i have to say that its my fault.i am sorry for that.i try my best for the interest of others. cheer up asrizal.
i'm nothing. a mere existence of human failure in this country tormented by its own spell. stress and everything co-related surrounds the lifestyle irregardless of day or night. where do i stand among all the hollow faces? just a barely visible shadow as the others watch the ones up front. is this really the life we hope and work for? not being able to have 100% control over the things we own. where is the power of freedom that was promised upon us,this nation. it was then i realize. with what i have and what i do. i don't have a chance of joining the front line. so from the very back door,i planned my success route. to leave this place and return when i'm all well. go on a backpacking adventure,enjoying the sights of this world. earn enough to build me a fantasy. gain enough trust to solidify my own friendship circle. learn enough to know the meaning of love.
these things i speak of are what i need yet lack of at this current point of time. other than being too matured for myself. i am pretty much nothing. c'mon people,don't deny that.
i ain't a rich kid you can feed upon. not the kinda guy who you can feast your eyes upon. the type that u don't wanna hang around with. plain simple that i am not even an inch of looks, having to deal with my own financial madness, will you be able to withstand my shitiness.
to any girls out there who can really turn me on, i dare you to. cause it will take me a while to realize whats going on.
DAMN MY LIFE!
call it a waste of time, call it a waste of mind. i just don't care anymore. telling me that i am not capable of earning her trust and her heart. maybe i don't but i wanna keep on trying. till i break myself apart. insane i say? its just who i am. when i really like someone i really do. no questions about that. the fact that someone can get me so hype up,wanting to go great distant to just meet her and see her really means a lot to me.
it has been a while since i felt that way. and now i am seeing a glimpse of it. fake or not. i don't wanna bother about that. let me break down when i need to. its just me being me.
heartless (copyrights)
oh i know i am not the only one here in my msn contact list that post this video up. maybe for now i only two people including me. the song is simply god damn good! maybe i will cover his version pretty much soon.
today was pretty much bumped out.i slept from about 8am to 5pm. with a no brainer's attitude.headed work. the rest of the evening was simply boring. work work work. 4 letters that keeps on playing in my evenings these past few weeks. i need another 4 letters word right now. f.u.c.k. haha.im sick i know.
one hell of a chaotic night. measures taken in order to keep your love ones safe. from any kind of evil that may eventually be in them or coming for them. it took me a while to shudder, to see how my mum is deeply hurt. i felt the stab,the pain just looking at the state she was in. it was freaking me out.stressing me out.saddening me in every possible way it can. that need for sleep was overshadowed with thoughts only of curing her. i slugged my way around the house hoping for a miracle. while silent screams echoes the hallway. unfamiliar tone,foreign ascent. it was definitely not her. minutes seems like hours right now. all we could do was pray as a family. had my nap.
morning came and i was overjoyed to see my mum waking me up. the usual sight of her trying her best to wake a dead animal for school. i almost burst into tears. guess the long hours were worthy. it was not a dream as my step dad reminded me what happened. guess its over for now. i really hope so.
thanks Ian and Remee for being the friends who nurture my faith in God. thanks Adi for helping me clear my school work. That reminds me that i am locked out from LEO. Thanks Joanna for listening to me while you're already tucked in and asleep.Sorry that my international credit ran out.I didn't mean to hang up on you just like that.
Let's sail away Find our own country We'll build a house and beds out of palm trees Let's get away Let's push our lives aside
I'll sport a smile Take in some color Under the stars I'll be your lover With no distractions I'm gonna treat you right
Well it seems like things are only getting better Well it seems like we can never catch a break
Just a keep a hold on me don't let go If you float away, if you float away Waiting too long for a ship to come Don't you float away, don't you float away
Let's go to bed Let's stop debating Look at the time We're always waiting But we're in love And that should be just fine
Well it seems like things are only getting better Well it seems like we can never catch a break
Just keep a hold on me don't let go If you float away, if you float away Waiting too long for a ship to come Don't you float away, don't you float away [x2]
And if you like (and if you like) and if you like some other time I would like to introduce you to the finer things If we survive (if we survive) If we survive, get out alive I'd like to say how beautiful I think you...
Just a keep a hold on me don't let go If you float away, if you float away Waiting too long for a ship to come Don't you float away, don't you float away
i am simply stuck on this particular songs. meaningful lyrics and nice catchy tune. ask me for the song! :)
its morning and i still haven't sleep. songs blasting through these ears of mine. i can't seem to be getting any lullaby to force me to shut my eyes. no dreams to think of.no sight to gaze upon. all i am asking is for someone to enlighten me. habits like these are not to be prolonged. thoughts have been playing in my mind. am i falling for someone? am i crashing myself for real now? this is happening too fast and at the wrong direction. calm down boy.don't get your feet too up high,cause you will only fall down harder. but the thing is without you,i have nothing to base my trust and heart on.
this is all so wrong. admit that and i know i have to make a change.or should i keep it this way. left untouched and unnoticed.
STEPASIDE STEPASIDE STEPASIDE!
hahs.i have never felt so attached to anything in my life,other than my bike,than this band.honestly speaking i am just the sessionist but i feel like i belong to a family. the very same band that has changed the way i live,breath and think. to sum it up.STEPASIDE has made an impact on me. positive i can say.i am just around to help out as much as i can. we will be having our own gig soon.maybe round the end of July. due to the sudden attack of rush and last minute changes.we can't really put it up at the end of June.
so listen up people,do support us and the gig. venue is yet to be confirmed since i have yet to explore the locations with a female who is god damn experienced in this field. (she is too hot already in the cyber world and in lion city for me to say out her name.hahs) learn some tips from the gurus and hopefully i will make it some day as a good planner or organizer. ( i know i have stupidly big dreams)
i got plans or should i say,a skeleton, for the gig. nice tags for the bands performing. tickets that are easy to obtain. rules that are worth to have. a theme where people can relate to easily. merchandises from the bands performing. (hopefully!)
lets just say that i want something where people will remember. :)
p.s:burnout!!!!
sometimes,maybe sometimes,you will just wonder about what you want to do with your life. with all these things that are happening around the world. that hunger for power, that lust for wealth. what is really being passion about here is all I have to ask. the world has been screwed up. fucked up real good by the rapists we all call humans. unlike animals,we have brains to think and moralities to guide us on what we really want. but with the world crumbling down,where can we really go? with global warming and recession going on. which do we choose over? both equally important and divided loyalty on the answer.It is really tough to unite as one and change the world to a better shelter. It is just not wise to be doing both. The harder one tries, the harder one falls. Thats the saying that have been going on for ages. A saying so true that it led to most enthusiasts down on their knees. Thinking hard on what their next step should be. Can we really blame each other now? Putting accuses on the people we claim to be the bad ones. the rotten kind. No we can't and we should not. We just have to look at ourselves in the mirror and ask the person staring back at you. other than showing the image of who you are, it shows the true color of what kind of a man you are. those lines beneath your eyes,they show a story where you should be having more peace and rest. a story of you being overworking yourself. I have been tiring myself as a norm right now. Every single day,trying my best to accomplish things that people don't believe me of. Ensuring that tomorrow will be a better day. Making sure that every morning i breath with relief in my lungs. But that has taken a toll in life. A burden to cope on my barely movable shoulders. All the projects in mind,the due dates to complete em tasks. These things have made me a mad man. On the verge of breaking down. But i can't just ignore the facts in life where i have to support myself. The bills piled up every now and then. Who is going to clear them but not me? These sleepless nights have got me restless times. where does this road leads? i hope the ending will come sooner i plead.
fuck love
forgive me this thing called love. you have changed the way i feel about people around me. with a lack of it,I felt that the lonely are getting lonely again. the people misjudging their fellow pals and the ones around them. what is love? when there is none to talk about in this very moment of a particular chapter in life. i lack in having one.I just don't have what it takes to possess one. to the ladies out there who tried to prove me wrong, i am apologizing for what i have become. This same old creature who have been heart cold, who have torn down every walls with anger and rage. wearing gas masks of different caliber just to hide that twisted smile. to hide every single emotion that flares beneath that cold hard stare.
fuck love.
my current craze!
its been a while
alright updates people. i have officially started my work. nothing much to note about that here in my blog. so well,for all those people who have been asking me where i work and all. here is the answer. "NO WAY AM I GOING TO TELL YOU GUYS!!!" privately confidential. enough said.
i think there are points in time where you really should sit back and see everything as a whole. it makes so much sense to not judge things or people based on their only certain characteristics. sometimes that is where we tend to overshadow the other qualities they have and that is bad. lucky for me,i look things as a whole. the guy may have effing bad habits but if he is a nice guy overall,he is a nice guy. well lets all sit back and watch the show as a whole.I mean how can we just watch one part and know the outcome of the movie.It doesn't make sense really. Hope you get my point.
I will love a moment in time where i can just sip some fresh orange juice, sit back in some cozy chair,let the sun blazed down on me and my friends. watching over the horizon and talk about stuffs that really matter to our life. Where we all can relate over matters that can get us talking for hours. A time which doesn't include talking about music,segregation and people.
We all lead a life and music is not just the only thing each of us have. So friends,lets one day beach bum and enjoy life. :)
