it has been days since i last update this piece. well for starters,i met suhaimi up when he officially booked out on the 27th till 29th.gosh how much i miss hanging out with him.we chilled at haji lane with a couple of good friends and back to his place.its been days since we crash his crib.misses and memories.oh well at least thats all lifted for now.
up next,i will be going KL to join Remee for his performance there.pretty cool shit right?just hope u guys dont screw up there.its like a once a lifetime event and lets pray step aside will do their best! Haha.
i have been mixing with people whom i rarely do in the past.time for a change?well i don't think so.its just me fitting in a again where i should have belong.the past relived.
GOSH! this blog is so empty!
unloved
thanks to all the dudes and dudettes who wished me a happy birthday. really appreciate it guys. 3 hours have passed and all i can land myself in is some good music and just reminiscing.focused yet lost thoughts keeps on threading itself around my brain veins.
Remember those talks on the lonely roads where we spilled our hearts while we headed home? It’s because of those nights that we grew so close. I know our bond is stronger than most. The most profound things I’ve ever heard came from half-awake kids that never had their turn. And I felt the same way, so we could all relate with misfortune and what it takes out of ourselves. This has taken so much out of me. Fucking drained, running on empty. Stomach in knots, begging to be free. I drown it all out so I can finally breathe. And I’ll ask myself, where will this road lead? Fell down and picked back up, destined for anything. And I’ll ask myself, where will this road lead? I just need to know…Where the fuck will we end up? Where will this road lead? Is this our destiny? Right now, time stands still. This is all that I believe.
This shout out goes to all my closest friends,those who have seen life through my eyes.The very same people i will turn to when i have some problems that i can't bear on my own.These are the people who will help me by sharing the burden that bears weight on me.
there are questions i have in mind that leads me feeling astray. so now where will this road lead?
1. you are good looking. 2. you are not like those mat2. 3. YoU dOnT TyPe LiKe ThIs. 4. your english is superb, and girls like that. unless they also english pecah la. (boys with pecah english is annoying when u talk to them.) 5. YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN REJECTED. summarize : you're an ideal type of guy that girls would wnat. *want. DAH.
hahaha.this lightens up my night i swear to god! thanks mate!
proudness
today was remarkable.simply remarkable. i got to a pretty early start of riding my younger brother for the first time in our lives.the relationship between us brothers seem to have just got tighten.rode him all the way to BBDC cause he wanted to get himself enrolled for bike license.Oh well..Just wish him all the best for it alright people! then i went back home.I WENT BACK HOME!Life is boring i know when you don't really have plans to occupy your time with.time just fades by sadly with no productivity at all.damn,i want someone!hahas. so at home,just slept my day through till about 5 plus.i swear nothing good was on tv and i had nothing to do either.so sleep was the only sensible thing to do at that very moment. got a call from Remee telling me he is at Ubi and was wondering if i wanna chill with him. So thats where the rough times begun.I swear i spent freaking 2 hours learning how to get to Ubi and still i got lost and lost and lost.Round and round i went and i keep getting myself lost.This is the first time i have been in the east side with my bike and it was terrible.Oh well like they always say,there is always a first time for everything in life.Luckily i learned how to ride there the next time round i need to. (: In the end we finally met at ITE Macpherson.It was lucky that Remee knows his way around East damn well.Maybe cause he used to stay and hang out there thats why.LOL. So we decided to head Kampong Glam from there.Had our dinner and chilled for a moment before heading Selegi to actually play Left4Dead which we played at Advance level and my god no one survived.no one.it was too tough for us.hahas. Chilled Somerset after that before decided to get back home.
At Redhill,things got a bit calmer.I topped up my petrol.Talked and chilled with Remee and discussing about issues of life. Good chat and good things came out of it.Remee told me that he is prepared to take the manhood status of life now.Prepared to do whatever it takes for a bright future not just for himself,but for the good of others and especially his family.Damn thats sweeet.Good job bro,i am definitely proud of you.do it just dont say it if u get what i mean aye?
Oh yeah Fxza just joined the ranks of people who thinks its easy for me to get a girl.Thats damn wrong girl.I dont know whats wrong with me but i don't have a date since i don't know when.Boring shits right?
10:30
i slept the whole entire day. literally 12 hours of sleep to cover the fatigue i got from the day before of riding and sending people back home. it was a good experience for me cause i was able to learn the roads and directions to my favorite places in Singapore.Thank god it is not so big but then again,dangers are still dangers. as long as i am safe and sound back home.there are nothing else that i am worried about. i swear the weather yesterday just made it worse for everyone including me. raining heavily,chilly weather and foggy climate.
my life ain't got no meaning till i found one.
are you out there?
i just got back from a very long day with my mum and step-dad. was awake this morning and he told me that they will help pay for the repairs of the bike first and that i will be able to repay them once i have start working or so. on the good side,i will get my bike fixed hence i will gain more confidence when riding the bike in the near future. bad note is,i have just added on to my belt of debts that are kinda getting a bit annoying to look at. oh well,talking about bikes.I think Singapore has too many car owners. Pretty fucked up about since most of them are pretty reckless and kinda inconsiderate on the roads even when the situation is pretty heavy.I mean,whats so wrong about letting others change lanes and all when they need to. its plain simple and obvious to see that most Singaporeans are damn kiasu...
Once the bike is fixed..i'll let you readers to have a view at it.uploads coming soon!
anyways i just realize that i haven't date for a very long time. where are all the girls!? its not that hard to find one decent lady in Singapore actually. Prob is that i have a trouble of approaching girls and asking for their email add or numbers. I am just too shy for that right now.Believers who tend to view me as this playboy or so,I am begging you guys to change that mentality of yours.I am actually sick of it really.When guys ask me for girl numbers and all.It tends to piss me off since i took quite an effort to get them.So in future,don't bother looking me up if you think i am some pimp whom you can get your numbers from... Its been a long time since i have felt in love. all these love songs kept in me just waiting to burst out and be sang to some beautiful angel who will pick this mess called me and actually love me for who i am. i have been pretty low-confident about myself ever since three years back. promise is that,when i see the angel,i will muster every ounce of confidence i have and do what ever i can to win her heart.
i don't need a meaningless life.i have had enough of it. give me what i will treasure and i'll return with something way valuable than all the riches in the world....my heart.
weeeeeeeeee
oh well the old me is dead and gone.. no more multiple flings and dates. just plain asrizal u're gonna to get straight from the image of heavens above. long gone is the ideology called rage. i will swallow my pride and just accept the beating. we all have to change someday. we all grow up. maturity is another issue all together. just be glad if your stage comes more sooner than others. there is no point of returning back. just move on and look up ahead cause life is making a turning point once again.
my birthday is coming up in a week's time and i have to be ready to take the fact and push them in my self. i have clear dreams in mind. achievable goals at hand. the world is not on my shoulders but more on everyone of us's. lets all play in its gardens and create miracles from the pure atoms of nothingness. the world is a better place than we all proclaimed. just believe in that i should say.
took my bike out for a spin. a lot of repairs has too be done but thank god they are just minor repairs. i will ensure that i will be back riding sooner than i think. maybe not in the busy hours of morning and hot scorching sun but more of nights which are way cooling and refreshing. got to chill with Remee earlier and had quite a fun time. Guess i will be going to need him right now more than ever to keep my sanity intact. after all i am a lonely man. smiles!
blisters and coffees
Good morning to all the beautiful people who took their time to read my blog really. woke up pretty early today since i had an early night yesterday. the weather was just perfect and it caused me to have weird dreams. like not any kinda of stupid dreams but dreams full of 'what ifs'... before it could finally end,mum woke me up for usual morning prayers.
after prayers, i just said at the sofa and think about what i wanted to do today. Remee is busy with work and the others,i just don't know whats up with them. hahas. maybe i will call charles/ashraf up and join them at esplanade if they are heading again today. i'll not go out with crutches.i'll have to train this leg to live again!
it was a good note this morning despite the fact i have lil cigs left to survive even the morning. i was warming up my bike and decided to give it a ride around my carpark. gotta admit that i got pretty rusty at riding. but there is always a start to everything. point was that i am able to ride my bike now. realized that was some problems with the bike after the accident. my speedometer is not working and i have funny noises admitted from the front rims. could tell that it was pretty much not in position and i should give the bike a full-service anytime soon when i have the money.
oh well,to all those who pitied me. i am recovering right now! the improvements can be seen clearly and i should be proud of it..
today
had a quite an enjoyable day actually. was not really planned at first other than meeting Remee up at cityhall. In the end we met each other at SGH to pay his dad a visit. really pleasant to see him doing fine and recuperating! May God bless his soul always. found out that Remee will be going Malaysia to perform. one plus point for him again. damn i wish that his good roll of luck keeps on rolling!
we then went to esplanade to check out the performances that was going on. bumped into old pals there. gosh i have been missing out a lot of those lovely bunch. chilled and monkeyed around. gotta hit them up a text once a while from now on.
met up with charles,andre and ashraf at esplanade too. decided to separate myself from the previous bunch to hangout with this group. not bad really, had fun watching a set and OMG the band was awesome. more like a punk band rather than ska but they did pull some reggae songs too. rasta baby! no woman no cry!
oh well i guess i'll retire early tonight. been rather busy and tiresome today.
smiles!
check out this cool creation
i was just browsing youtube and i came across this awesome guitar master piece. maybe you guys will wanna see it and have some thoughts about it or something.
awesome song right?
macddicted
OMG i am totally being exploited and hooked to this drug called macroin. every single day i dream of owning one and it has always been a disappointment when i wake up to find myself staring at my sister's dell laptop. it is so freaking gorgeous.damn!damn!damn!
i have asked my mum about getting me one since i have no laptop right now and i am so not going to repair my fujitsu laptop since it is not really worth it. for now i will just be patient and hopefully luck will help me to own this one-of-a-kind piece of technogadget.
i was talking to a friend of mine lately and i found out that life is not really bad at all. every morning all of us have the chance of waking up and smelling the morning dew and breeze.the sun will just shine warmly on us as if telling the world to wake up and fill the day away with memorable events. what ever that happens yesterday remains as a part of history and the day will always be supposed to look upon for.no matter how shitty the day gets,be reminded that we have always been surviving these kinda days and that should be a blessing.
so lets all brush away our bad mistakes and just stay on this positive outline.
the whole world waits upon no one's shoulders and that we should all live our lives to the fullest and enjoy the god's creation.
smiles....
new
today was pretty tiring. had to travel all the way to the Traffic Police HQ located at Ubi. Just to write a statement and hopefully close my case. I woke up pretty late and had to take a train to Paya Lebar before flagging a cab and cabbed down to the place itself. Luckily for me there is now a feeder service from the new Pioneer Station to my place.So do take note people!! You guys can just take SBS241 from the station straight to my home.About 4 bustops away so it is really a good deal.
After the statement was all said and done. I head over to my usual hotspot to kinda relieved some stress. Its been a while since i had shisha and boy it does taste good this time round. I had a nice time talking to Dilla and my ex-colleagues,Yan and Lena. Wonderful time i had cause i was full of crap as usual. Judging from my instinct,i suspect Yan and Lena to be an awesome couple. All the best to those two lovebirds. (:
I think i should start a hobby from now on. Was complaining that it was damn boring to be at home with nothing much to do. Should start writing songs as i used to. Seems to have a problem though,my guitar is all the way at Bishan.Back at Suhaimi's place.Gotta wait for that dude to book out before i can officially take back whats mine and resume song writing.
I have the greatest mum in the world. She actually bought me new specs.I should be thankful for that since i got none right now and i have been relying on contact lenses to survive.It sucks to have poor eyesights.Not only has she bought me specs,she actually agreed to buy me a macbook once her pay is in.Thats what really matters to me right now since i have no laptop to deal with after my fujitsu broke down.
I wish that i will be able to walk around and take out my bike by the next 2 weeks.At least before my birthday.
Lots of things are stored in mind and i am not gonna fail myself again. Life will be fast but i have to keep pace with it.
blog blog blog
what exactly is the purpose of my blog? i always see it as to write down my thoughts and events in life. a mean of black and white recording i say. but all of this seems so meaningless. i took a look at others and my god my blog is damn empty.
no pictures. stupid music. but nice layout.
i am like a poser blogger you know. hahaha. fuck how can i be a poser.
think positive and stay in track. i love songs with those meanings!
dude
it has only been several days and i am feeling the blues. was great seeing Remz again after weeks being totally busy with life respectively. we met up at alexandra hospital.had lunch at queensway shopping centre where they sell the best curry chicken.totally had my stomach filled on that day even though was freaking broke. had the chance to visit Remz dad and how i wish that sir will get well soon. he was really good at giving teenage sons advices and i really appreciated it cause got me realising about stuffs. i miss my dad even when he is not around and not staying with me. however,i have a great stepdad whom i always regret upon disappointing him.
Suhaimi is in camp right now. My fucking close holmes whom i spent 75% of my time chilling with. Finally he is in camp and i guess he does made a big impact in my life. He and remee. Both created a sense of personality in me. Affecting me as a person in many freaking great ways. Glad to say most of em are positive.
Dude, i totally miss you I really fucking miss you I'm all alone, All the time, all the time Really miss the things we did together. Totally miss the honesty And special times, and honestly I totally miss the fucked up thing ya do
Hoping time flies very fast and i'm ready to pay em back for all the wonders they have done.
change
time is hard. we never know what is going to happen in the next minute. life filled with uncertainty. we may never know the meaning of life till we savor every single second of it. time is neutral. never good once,never bad once. its the emotions that plays around with us that affects who we are. a cold-stoned man will never feel happiness cause he don't understand the meaning of enjoying a moment.
my life is taking its time. i am trying my best to capture every single moment of it. its not going at any fast pace but amazingly going slow. mornings have become dull. nights have become pleasant. disasters all becoming an illusionist's plot.
i have been staring at the nightsky. asking myself questions that are still left unanswered. i wish for a voice to guide my ways. life is not always splendid.that is what that was promised.
to my friend, you got to be strong. you have to be strong. this is not a good time for you. have faith even when you lost them.It is always there in you. search for it.it will not find you till you searched deep. i am always here to hear your thoughts. we share words of wisdom. you know how this all plays.
be strong my friend.
updates
someone actually kinda tip me off to update my blog. it has been days since i blogged and its time to resume.
i have been having sleepless nights lately. kinda stressed out with thoughts and nightmares. and how was i amazed that my close friends can actually see those fears in my eyes. the way i react to changes happening too soon. it has been a roller-coaster ride in life recently.
Suhaimi was the first to realize that something is wrong with me. Always asking me if i was alright.Trying his best to cheer me up and help me out with my problems. the only thing stopping him is that i was not going to share my woes. he was the one who has helped me out in many situations where i couldn't faced them alone. i was not ready to exploit yet another weakness to my best mate. I am so going to miss that guy when he is serving the nation. my mate for ages. I'll promise not to ever forget how much he means to me. True friendships truly exists and i hope to repay him someday...
Talking about friendships. I have been missing my jackass skate buddy real badly. Where are you man? I am sorry i wasn't able to reply those messages and return your calls. I was busy preparing for Suhaimi's performance and departure. We should hang out real soon man. Remee,lets not forget the hell we have been through and the ones we created on earth.
Sleepless nights,
school is reopening soon and i am not ready yet to endure school hours and projects. it is my final year and i still have unpaid debts and grades to settle in my previous 2 years. i just wish that i will be able to pull through enough strings to get through this tough year.it all means so much to me right now since my parents are counting on me to bring in the results that they have invested so much on me.
money has been an issue to me lately. i just wish that it could drop from the skies and help me pay my bike bills,hospital bills and enough left to pay for a new macbook. i have been bumped out by the fact that i was not able to operate my laptop. how am i able to go to school? the answers i got from mates and pals are to get a job. and my question to them remains the same. " How to work with this dumb leg?" they got me and they pitied me. Enough.Enough is enough.I don't need any more pity.
I am not fit to work or do anything handy lately. They told me to be patient but it is driving me crazy. How long does it takes for this bone to heal. How long can i go on just resting at home and doing nothing. Oh God,i beg of you to help me out with this cause no one can ever truly help me out. Please,just please heal me soon.I am so wishing and praying for it right now.
its been a while
i need a new attitude adjustment. with things as it seems now,i don't think i can go very far. these moments so priceless,teaching me lessons in disguise of mishaps. my heart still beats the same but my vessels don't seem to get em. these eyes just wondered how they have been so blind all along. true meanings of life can only be obtain once we set sights on them.
i will like to shamefully declare that my laptop is pretty much bull's crap now. it can't even be booted.how am i going to inform my mum about it. i am sure she will be upset about it. bearing in mind she worked her ass off to pay for my school fees and that includes my laptop purchased at the beginning of the school year.
please god send me an angel, with open wings just to grab me in. i am sick of this life i lead. wishing i can be born into someone's life.
open up my eyes and just realize that everything is okay. i know that is plain imaginary. no things will exist. we are the creator of the life we lead. we who are imperfect humans.
i need a life. i need money. i need a notebook. i need a heart.
i don't seem to be having any one of them right now.
