give me cigarettes
give me coke
give me life
thats all i need right now and i will be fine.
let me update you readers,
yesterday i paid a visit to the hospital.
had a check up on my left leg and was all glad to hear that my leg is progressing well.
the only downfall is that i am still reliable on crutches and my bone is far from healing.
the specialist in charge of me yesterday was some Italian guy so i trust his words.
i was shown my pictures from the X-ray and was allowed to only snap a picture of one of them.stupid nurses won't allow me to capture more.
that is the picture i've uploaded.
if you guys can see properly,there is still the crack from my tibia bone.
pretty painful you guess right? you bet it is.
i've got a metal rod that length inserted.I don't know if they are ever going to remove it.
It has been all silent recently with my phoneline being unoperative and no one visiting me at home.
my house is god damn boring and how i wish someone could come and just pimp it for me.
at least i will have more fun with that!
OMG i haven't been back home for a couple of days already.
Finally i am home safe and sound.
Spent my weekends at suhaimi's place.
had a lot of fun there actually.
his place is simply cozy and small.
hence easier for me to navigate around.
even without crutches i can really hop around the whole house and get me anywhere.
i am sorry to those who i was not able to meet the weekends.
namely remee.
DUDE,I AM REALLY SORRY MAN!
LIKE I DON'T REALLY CAN GO UP STAIRS AND ALL.
SO HENCE I DIDN'T WANNA GO TO THE JAMMING SESSIONS OF YOUR BAND.
REALLY WANTED TO BUT I CAN'T!
HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND.
GIVE ME A CALL ONCE YOU READ THIS MAN.
MY HOTLINE'S 24/7 FOR MY BRUDDERS!
i have something to confess.
my change in pace has finally caught up to myself.
its been tough but i tried my best to pull through miracles after another.
and i learned something valuable today.
that if we friends,family or strangers put our hands together and unite.
ignoring the differences we have.
everyone participating in their own roles perfectly.
the world will be a perfect place.
no one will suffer badly and that brings joy to people around the globe.
a celebration of life will be commence.
things will be heaven.
my laptop is dying on me!my laptop is dying on me!my laptop is dying!
someone help me get cash and macbook!
hahas.
damn dreams are all i have and no progress for now.
nevermind
rest asure i will be back on my 2 solid feet and work my ass up!
i deserve more than all these!
oh my god.
its almost the end of february and i just realised something is amiss.
i haven't even have a wishlist for this year.
meaning i don't really have goals.
pretty much a bummer cause i know i need goals to push me to my limits and ensure progress.
so here is a little late wishlist that i have created.
1)Recover from open fractured tibia.
2)Fix my bike.
3)Get a new job.
4)Pay all my debts/fines.
5)Clear my CE points in school.
6)Get a new laptop.
7)Indulge in a new guitar.
8)Presents for my mum,dad,brother,sisters and beloved friends.
9)Obtain a nice body.
10)Pray more often.
11)Get a wardrobe makeover.
12)Hype up my room.
Pretty much that is all i have in this period of time.
C'mon its 1.30am in the morning.I can't really function my brain well.
Hahas.I will update the list once i have more commitments to tend to.
i will like to inform the world that i will be back in about 6 weeks to 3 months time.
i am wishing that it will be the least time to heal the open fractured tibia that i suffered during the bike accident about more than one week ago.
i am glad to say that i did not die during that fatal incident which could have cost me my life i was dragged further to the center of the road and got trashed by the bus that barely missed me.
The tragedy keeps freaking me out every single moment i go to sleep or daydreaming.
There is no point regretting now.
Through this pain i am undergoing,I have learned quite a number of important things in life which i have been missing or overlooking in the past.
The value of friendship,family ties and God.
I have been so busy thinking about myself that i was scared to admit i lost touch in all the above mentioned.
Through torments,i smile at myself.
I know i have much more to give in this world and life.
It is not my time yet to pass.
I still have the world bearing down on my shoulders but i don't mind the extra weight i carry in life.
It will be acted out as motivations for me to keep on my struggle.
I have big dreams.
Massive goals that i wish to accomplish before i kneel down to the sight of death before my eyes.
This road to recovery is going to be a memorable one for me.
A story i will tell to my grandchildren and children.
The best part of this story is that i have people to accompany me.
My true friends.
My beloved family members.
I will treasure each individual like they mean the world to me cause right now they truly are.
To the souls i have sold out in the past.I will like to redeem forgiveness from them.
I have done bad miserable and evil things in the past in the outcome of stupidity and meaningless thinking.
It is all about to change.
Readers,pray for me and my struggle.
I'll pray for yours.
today was pretty much tensed for me.
i just realized how stressed i am for being useless.
nothing seems to be right.
nothing is worth fighting for these days.
things aren't always what they seem.
i have to keep on surviving.
oh yeah.
recently ADTR have been rocking my ears.
their new album is definitely one to listen to.
Check it out people!
the hottest shit on earth!
guess what!
i came across something interesting lately thanks to Siq's bulletin.
►GEMINI--HARD TO LOVE (5/21-6/21) Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny. Excellent kisser. EXTREMELY adorable. Good personalities.
Loves relationships. Addictive. Loud.
►ARIES - THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE. (3/21-4/19) Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners..Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Trustworthy. Always happy. Loud. Talkative. Outgoing VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. NOT one to mess with.
►VIRGO - THE BEST SEXUAL PARTNER (8/23-9/22) Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. EXTREMELY SEXY. Predict future. Loves being in long relationships. Has lots of friends. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. Also not a fighter, but if they have to, they will also knock the lights out of you if it comes down to it.Cool. Loves to own Geminis' in sports. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart.
►SCORPIO - THE VIRGIN (10/23-11/21) Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight for what they want. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Good personality. Stubborn. A caring person.
►AQUARIUS - THE ONE U CAN'T TOUCH (1/20-2/18) Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Knows how to Have fun. Is really good at almost anything. Great kisser. Unpredictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Attractive. Loud. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found.
►TAURUS - THE BAD BOY OR GIRL (4/20-5/20) Very high appeal. Love is one of a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet! Entirely creative. Extremely random and proud of it. Freak. Spontaneous. Great at telling Stories. Best kisser. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out
if it comes down to it. Someone you
should hold on to.
►CANCER - HARD TO CATCH THEIR HEART (6/22-7/22) Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being In long- term relationships, if you can actually get them to stick around. Extremely energetic. Wild. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Normally not a Fighter, but will if neccessary. Someone loves them right now, they just dont know it. 2 years of bad luck if you do not repost..
►LIBRA - THE PIMP (9/23-10/22) Caring and kind. Smart. Center of attention. High appeal. Has the last word. Good to find, hard to keep. Fun to be around. Extremely weird but in a good way. Good Sense of Humor. Thoughtful. Always gets what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet.
►PISCES - THE SEX ADDICT (2/19-3/20) EXTREMELY adorable. Intelligent. Loves to joke. Very Good sense of humor. Energetic. Predict future. BEST kisser. Always get what they want. Very Attractive. Easy going. RARE Find. GOOD when found. Loves being in long relationship. Talkative. Romantic. Caring. NOT one to mess with.
►LEO - THE SEX MANIAC (7/23-8/22) Very talkative. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, Fun and SEXY. Have own unique appeal. Irresistible. Most caring person you'll ever meet! however not the kind of person you wanna mess with...they will kick your ***... u might end up crying...
►CAPRICORN - THE SEXY ONE (12/22-1/19) Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always Wants the last word.Rare to find. Caring. Smart. Sweet. Loud. Loyal. Beautiful. Goofy. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please.Loves to smile.Beautiful laugh.Patient.Amazing in the you know where..!!! Bit of naughty.The one and only.Sincere..very cheeky.
haha.i am an aries in this case.
so guess most of what is said is true actually.
so i deem this info reliable!
hit me a text and tell me which u are.
maybe we can make out!
lol!
just kidding! (smiles)
i have been feeling much better recently.
thanks to all the people who have been asking me about my leg and all.
i really appreciate you guys.
have to return you guys some efforts when i am back on my feets.
sundays now means a certain kinda day for me.
not just any kinda day but FAMILY day.
a day i will put aside everything.
spent my time with my family members and relatives.
like accompanying my grandma at sengkang.
chilling with my mum and dad.
don't matter how and what.
i will devote the sundays to them.
pretty much thats all.
i can't skate.i can't skate.i can't skate.
fucking bummer.
Yesterday night,
Suhaimi came over to company me the whole night.
Gosh!How much do i miss that guy.
We had fun
Talking
Checking up my bike.
Serenading.
The norms when 2 best dudes collide.
Slept.
Through the midst of all the fun and laughter.
I was kinda depressed.
One night without hearing her voice
Seems like i am addicted to her.
Like a drug prescribed for a fatal disease.
I am fearing the worse.
Today.
I woke up pretty late.
Had calls from remee.
Asking me to meet him up and company his day.
Kinda got myself lost and confused.
Cause i planned to spend my day with her.
Got my wish and fulfilled remee's wants.
I can't imagine how i was stupid enough to let a girl waiting for me at the interchange for long.
I had problems going out with this wretched leg.
i wish i had the energy to go buy the list of items i want for her.
damn stupid me.i swear i don't feel good about this.
So we chilled at haji lane.
introduced her to middle eastern food.
best i could do.
argh! i am a lame ass.
met remee and suhaimi there.
so not so bad after all.
my god she is like an angel.
pretty decent to see.
calming on the nerves.
i think i just got enlightened.
i hope she knows i'm in trouble now.
pulling in fast in this quicksand.
i ain't a saint i promise that.
but i will try to be at my very best for her.
cheer up girl,if you're reading this.
i know i will do my best to make up for all the wonders you have done to me.
the delights i will always remember.
trust me on that.i'm not gonna give up.
valentine's coming and i am in no state to celebrate it at all.
leg's all screwed.
i don't think i can even walk 5 meters without feeling tired or having aches.
so i guess i am going to give it a skip just like last year.
miserable right?
i'll spend the day smoking.
thinking of the 10 perfect reasons to ask this lady out.
hahas.
got a draft of it.
hope its reasonable?!? LOL
1.Your soothing voice calms me down.
2.Your imaginations of unicorns,rose gardens and rainbows are creative.
3.Fun person to chat with and no matter what i will never get bored.
4.You bake for your lovelies,shows how lovely you are.
5.You are pretty much dazzled by books.Lots of topics we can talk about?Hahas.
6.You seem sweet in pictures and i know that you look better in real life.
7.Calling me weird names like ducky makes me feel small.
8.I wish to see the girl who use to climb over fences/gates when she was little.
9.Definitely an ahlian/ahbeng/matrep/minahs hater!
10.Simply one in a million!
I know its a lame start for the 10 reasons.
i suck i suck i suck
you should know that very well!
today i had to go polyclinic to get my wounds redress.
thankfully,the sight was better.
some of my stitches are like dry except for the one on the right side of the knee.
been watching a lot of wrestling lately and i am inspired to shape my body like..
RANDY ORTON! (Go search him up in www.wwe.com)
Damn envious uh since i have a pretty disorganized body.
oh yeah,i can't seem to upload anything to my phone right now.
like i don't have the cable.
so to anyone out there who has an LG and kindly wanna give me their cable.
please do so alright! (hint hint)
now i am addicted to a metro station song.
sounds gay.
now that we're done,i'm so sorry!
hahas.
cheers...
p.s: this blog just seems more and more fun!thanks baby!! you sparked some heat in me. (wink wink)
had a bad couple of days lately.
i just quit my job lately due to company's racist policies.
a game which i can never truly defeat since i am on the losing side.
bear the grudges,wish the remains goodbye and better future to seek to.
i am not all so evil after all.
got my bike.
had a ride.
too much adrenaline rush.
fought the waves.
crashed myself.
broken tia bone.
now i am all stoned.
i'll upload the pictures of my scars when its done.
now i am back home.
i swear i hate hospitals from now on.
bored and meaningless.
i actually found myself useless.
but
friends,family came to visit me.
it was all caring.
late night calls with a beautiful one.
had my burden lighten by all stated above.
i wish you know.
each day,you completely caught me off the stone.
i think i am beginning to fall for you.
my first self-declaration of heart being alive after so long.
you are the only girl to ever really melt my heart.
i swear i will cherish you.
Bury all your secrets in my skin
Come away with innocence, and leave me with my sins
The air around me still feels like a cage
And love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again...
So if you love me, let me go. And run away before I know.
My heart is just too dark to care. I can't destroy what isn't there.
Deliver me into my Fate - If I'm alone I cannot hate
I don't deserve to have you...
My smile was taken long ago / If I can change I hope I never know
I still press your letters to my lips
And cherish them in parts of me that savor every kiss
I couldn't face a life without your light
But all of that was ripped apart... when you refused to fight
So save your breath, I will not hear. I think I made it very clear.
You couldn't hate enough to love. Is that supposed to be enough?
I only wish you weren't my friend. Then I could hurt you in the end.
I never claimed to be a Saint...
My own was banished long ago / It took the Death of Hope to let you go
So Break Yourself Against My Stones
And Spit Your Pity In My Soul
You Never Needed Any Help
You Sold Me Out To Save Yourself
And I Won't Listen To Your Shame
You Ran Away - You're All The Same
Angels Lie To Keep Control...
My Love Was Punished Long Ago
If You Still Care, Don't Ever Let Me Know
If you still care, don't ever let me know...
alright it has been ages since i've last updated on my blog.
so let me recap what happened recently.
life has been meaningless recently.
nothing seems to make sense,
but i am playing pretend that it reads a plot for me.
unemployed.
useless.
broke.
that is the outcome of not saving up.
i wonder how am i to survive independently.
I NEED TO START SAVING!
random nights.
that's all i have been having nowadays.
the world never seemed so quiet.
the cold never seem so unbearable.
i'll stare at the skies and pray for a miracle to happen.
with one shed of tear,
no one ever knows this pain i've held.
people around me thinking..
'boy,what a life he has..'
never really analyzing the tormented self i am.
plain blank and random.
that's all i have been feeling for the last few years.
the moment never so sure now.
i thought i could handle it.
i thought i could manipulate it.
never so well i wonder,
how long can i keep faking this feelings.
dude,you have to pick up.
you have to make it through.
this shit of madness its what created you.
oh god,
i wish for a sign of miracle to happen from you.
had a fun day yesterday.
was literally on the phone the whole day.
pretty fun actually talking random shits.
something i will never forget.
went out with remee and had quite a long-distance journey.
walk here,walk there.
i wonder how i can never get sick of walking.
well we still can't find the bag remee wants.
pretty much tiring looking for it
so we decided to have some left4dead.
i swear i was fucking high killing em zombies.
2 against the entire colony.
and boy we did well as a team.
i bet that anyone will enjoy their time if they are out with us!
the original piece of the jackass crew. hahs.
then it was bummer i had to leave for work.
was pretty sucky since i was damn tired and all.
but never the less,i try to make things fun.
now i just got home from work and just got to find out that yan changed my shifts so that i can work with him today.
boy,that gay bastard seriously misses working with me.
cheers for that.
i am starting my very own countdown.
not to any particularly huge holiday or event.
but something big in my life which is
the LAUNCH of my very own BIKE!
hopefully nothing will screw up the process.
its not that interesting
but i like to keep it a secret
from people who i am planning to shock.
hence the reason i don't really tell people about it neither my blog.
i believe in shocking moments.
i wish that this year will be a breakthrough for me.
a start in the entertainment business all thanks to suhaimi.
an end to my torturous 2008.
life has never been better for me.
hopefully i have much more to give.
to the people whom have changed my life.
changed my philosophies and my beliefs.
lets all smile and be happy friends.
had a good 2 day actually but i am running low on cash.
been spending my ass off like nobody's business.
haji lane has been beginning to be a norm for me.
this is unhealthy.
oh well i am like hooked to a particularly nice song.
it explains what i am right now.
guess i will reveal the song's name soon.
i think i am beginning to like someone.
it has been ages.
i miss dating.
i miss midnight hugs and calls.
i miss kisses.
i miss sharing my heart.
i miss falling in love.
valentine's day is coming and i still have no date.
sad sad case.
till i find a way to spend time with her.
i will always be a sad boy.
